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Hey All from Dan in Ohio!!!


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#1 PsychoDan

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Posted 25 July 2010 - 04:51 PM

Hey Chaz and all!!

My name is Dan and I am a FTM. (The psycho comes from my current studies to become a psychologist) I knew when I was very young that I was not in the right body. My neighbor once asked me when I was about 6 what I was going to be when I grew up and I told her I was going to be a boy! She laughed and told me that was not possible. Guess she was wrong! I started my transition in Oct of 2004 with hormones and having the big globs of goo removed from my chest. LOL!! This was all after becoming sober. I went back to school in 2006 and finished my BA degree in psychology (which took me almost 20 years to finish!) I am now currently working on my Master’s degree in counseling.

I spent 10 years with a woman who when I discussed the fact I felt male she said she could not deal with it so I had intended to just live as female the rest of my life so I could spend it with her. However that relationship came to an end (THANKFULLY!!) and I went back full force to get to being who I have always been. So funny thing was I was terrified to tell my parents. My mom said "and?" and my dad said "I knew since you were 2 you should have been a boy". Seriously? Had they said something before I wouldn't have been in my 30's doing this. But I do believe that things happen at the right time for a reason so here I am.

So at this point in my life I am pretty happy. I did find that testosterone kind of gave me a change in one way I didn't expect. I now find guys completely attractive. So I do consider myself gay. But this is proving very difficult in finding dates because once they find out I don't have the "parts" that's the end of dating. This is the only area I find stressful at this point. Well and finding the money to pay for bottom surgery of course. But I know it will happen when it's supposed to.

My next step in all of this is to persuade the school I am attending to take out the clause in their student medical insurance that says basically all transgender related issues are forbidden. The school (while it is an exceptional school) professes that they are diverse and welcomes diverse students and staff but they have that clause in their medical insurance. To me that is not very welcoming. I had planned to go stealth at school completely but that irritated me enough to out myself to several people so far and if I have to I will out myself to the entire world to help us. So even if it doesn't help me in the time I am there maybe it will help future students. Nothing irritates me more than discrimination in any form but especially to the GLBT community.

So it’s good to be here and get to chat with others in this community!

Thanks for this forum!!!

Dan

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#2 Linus

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Posted 25 July 2010 - 05:08 PM

Hey Dan! Welcome.

Most insurance (about 95%) have exclusion clauses but oddly enough, some will cover it anyways (because it's been listed as a medical necessity).

#3 Chiv

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Posted 25 July 2010 - 07:17 PM

Welcome Dan.

#4 Christian_transman

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Posted 25 July 2010 - 09:27 PM

Welcome aboard Dan! I am curious about what you said about the school's medical insurance - do they cover surgeries, etc? Is it a comprehensive insurance? I guess that's my question. I also have a psychology degree and I would LOVE to get my masters in counseling some day. But I've worked in the human services field for almost 25 years, I have a great job and a great life with my fiance', and I have no idea how I'd go about going back to school now. :?
Anyway, good luck to you!
Chris O

#5 PsychoDan

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Posted 26 July 2010 - 11:34 AM

Hey Chris, Chiv and Linus thanks for the welcome!

Linus,

Yep I do know that most insurance companies do not cover any trans stuff. But I am sure that we all agree that it should be because it is pretty much discrimination. So one goal I have in life is to get that changed which I know is going to be a huge fight against main stream society. So I plan to start small and just get the school I am attending to at least consider it. I'd consider it a huge step towards progress to get them to at least listen to why it should be changed. Gender Dysphoria is listed in the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual for the American Psychological Association so it is considered a mental disorder. However there are many things listed in there that insurance companies will not cover. I debate with myself as to if that is good to have listed as a mental disorder or not because I do not feel as if I have a mental problem. But it seems to be one leg for us to stand on in getting things covered. I do think it's going to be a fight for quite a few years but I think it has to happen.

Chris O,

I think that there was a miss communication between us. No the school has an exclusion clause that states: "Expense incurred for, or related to, sex change surgery, or to any treatment of gender identity disorder." So basically they cover nothing that deals with trans issues. So I think my big questions for them would be if (since I still have my female organs) if something would happen and they had to come out or whatever would they cover it? Could I have the checkup necessary since I do still have the parts? I am listed at the school as male so that would be interesting for that to pop on an insurance claim! LOL!!

As far as going back to school… If I can do it so can you. If you want the degree even if you don't intend on changing jobs and your happy with your life just go part time. Take one class a semester or something like that. I've been trying for about 2 years since I got my BA to find something in the flied even if I got paid less than I get paid now(which is pathetically LOW!!) but there is nothing here. Even though I want the master's degree and my PhD eventually I really didn't have a choice but to go back and get them because there are no jobs with only a BA here and relocating is out of the question. So my philosophy is that really you can do anything you set your mind to do! Good luck to you also!!

Dan

#6 Linus

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Posted 26 July 2010 - 04:46 PM

Hey Chris, Chiv and Linus thanks for the welcome!

Linus,

Yep I do know that most insurance companies do not cover any trans stuff. But I am sure that we all agree that it should be because it is pretty much discrimination. So one goal I have in life is to get that changed which I know is going to be a huge fight against main stream society. So I plan to start small and just get the school I am attending to at least consider it. I'd consider it a huge step towards progress to get them to at least listen to why it should be changed. Gender Dysphoria is listed in the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual for the American Psychological Association so it is considered a mental disorder. However there are many things listed in there that insurance companies will not cover. I debate with myself as to if that is good to have listed as a mental disorder or not because I do not feel as if I have a mental problem. But it seems to be one leg for us to stand on in getting things covered. I do think it's going to be a fight for quite a few years but I think it has to happen.


Good luck with trying to change the DSM over this. As long as Zucker is in charge, I have doubts. That said, even if it's listed as a mental disorder it should be still covered as per the AMAs resolution that stated it's required (http://www.hrc.org/issues/9568.htm). I think that's why the insurance companies will cover it when pressed. Heck, even if they covered half of the costs, I'd be thrilled.

#7 PsychoDan

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Posted 26 July 2010 - 05:09 PM

Good luck with trying to change the DSM over this. As long as Zucker is in charge, I have doubts. That said, even if it's listed as a mental disorder it should be still covered as per the AMAs resolution that stated it's required (http://www.hrc.org/issues/9568.htm). I think that's why the insurance companies will cover it when pressed. Heck, even if they covered half of the costs, I'd be thrilled.


I think it will be years before the DSM ever gets changed. They change it about every 10 years and the new one is due out in 2012 which they are already working on and this is not up for discussion I don't think this time. I could be wrong about that. In one way it could be good to keep GID in there on the other side I don't like to be considered having a mental illness. So I go back and forth on which I prefer. I do agree if they covered even half the cost of the surgeries that would be good. Better if they covered more but half is better than nothing! Of course I want to go to Belgium to get the bottom surgery and I doubt any American company would cover that. So that is going to be totally out of pocket and maybe I could get some back with taxes but...I am just hoping that by the time I get the money for it there will be considerable improvements in this country because I do not like the idea of going out of the country for a medical procedure away from my family and friends. But I do believe that things happen when they are supposed to so I do what I can until the time comes for everything.

#8 leroi

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Posted 26 July 2010 - 09:04 PM

Hi Dan,

Welcome to the group. Looks like we both had the girlfriend who couldn't deal. Oh well. Cool that you're working on your Master's degree in counseling. Welcome aboard!

Johann

#9 Chaz Bono

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Posted 29 July 2010 - 08:11 PM

Hi Dan,
Welcome to the forum. I feel like we have a lot in common. I too became Bill's friend before transitioning, and have been now for 6 years. I also lost a relationship many years ago because I was realizing that I was trans and like you, I am so grateful for that now. I do have a good friend that is a gay FTM and happily partnered for 10 years so hang in there.
All the best,
Chaz

#10 PsychoDan

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Posted 01 August 2010 - 01:52 PM

Hi Dan,
Welcome to the forum. I feel like we have a lot in common. I too became Bill's friend before transitioning, and have been now for 6 years. I also lost a relationship many years ago because I was realizing that I was trans and like you, I am so grateful for that now. I do have a good friend that is a gay FTM and happily partnered for 10 years so hang in there.
All the best,
Chaz


Hey Chaz!!!

Thanks for the welcome! I would say we do have quite a bit in common! Congrats on 6 years! That's AWESOME!! I am very thankful to Bill W. and Dr. Bob for the program or I would more than likely be dead right now. But I'm not so here I am!! I am very grateful also for everything including the REAL friends I have now. I am working on my patience for a mate but I often think like I don't have the time necessary to dedicate to a relationship because it's a lot of work! With full time grad school, working and doing the program I don't have a lot of time for much else and I have to spend time with my family and friends so it's a lot to do and I don't have tons of spare time! I would love to have a mate just to hang out with but I would not want to have a relationship that only part of me is involved in. So I wait but it would be nice to be able to share my life with someone! When the time is right! Thanks for the welcome and I do hope to keep chatting with you and everyone else here!! This is a great place!!! Thanks!!!

Dan

#11 Bones

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Posted 03 August 2010 - 02:17 PM

Howdy, Dan. My name's also Dan, so everyone must call me Bones now. :twisted: IT IS NOT A CHOICE ANYMORE! Ha.

You lucky dog... my family is so against me being a man... I'm 20, they're still bucking hard, though my mom said she's found it easier to call me Dan on the internet. She still can't really make herself do it IRL. [Sigh.] Oh well. Progress. I came out 2 years ago.




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